Unlock Your Potential: Pick Yourself to Achieve Your Goals
Are you waiting for permission or an invitation to pursue your dreams? According to renowned author and speaker Seth Godin, the key to living a more fulfilling and impactful life lies in a simple yet powerful act: picking yourself. In a recent conversation with Mel Robbins, Godin, author of over 20 best-selling books and a leading voice in marketing and leadership, shared profound insights on overcoming resistance, embracing challenges, and taking ownership of your aspirations.
The Power of Self-Initiation
Godin argues that the dominant systems we live within – from education to employment – often train us to wait for external validation. We are conditioned to wait for job interviews, for book deals, for invitations to showcase our talents. This passive approach, he explains, keeps us from starting the very work that matters most. “The dominant system does not want you to pick yourself,” Godin stated. “The dominant system wants you to wait to be invited… The idea that someone else will pick you and authorize you.”
The alternative is to “pick yourself.” This means recognizing that you have the agency to start, create, and offer your work to the world, regardless of whether you have received external approval. Whether it’s writing a novel, starting a business, or pursuing a creative project, the first step is to decide that you are worthy of pursuing it. Godin uses the example of an aspiring author: instead of waiting for a publisher, write the book, create a PDF, share it, and see if it resonates. If it spreads, opportunities will follow. If not, you learn and write something better. This process of self-initiation, though potentially awkward, is where true progress and dignity lie.
Understanding and Overcoming Resistance
Any significant endeavor will inevitably encounter resistance. Godin reframes this resistance not as a sign to stop, but as an indicator of importance. “If you don’t feel resistance, it might not be important enough,” he explained. Resistance, he posits, is anything we do to get in our own way, often stemming from the fear of doing something that scares us. This can manifest as procrastination, self-doubt, or even the creation of elaborate excuses.
Writer’s block, for instance, is not a mystical affliction but a form of resistance. When a task feels important, we may unconsciously insulate ourselves to avoid the potential for failure or judgment. Godin encourages listeners to acknowledge this resistance with gratitude: “Thank you for letting me know I’m on the verge of doing something important. Thanks for reminding me that this needs to be on the top of my priority list.” By recognizing resistance as a compass pointing towards necessary work, we can begin to engage with it constructively.
Problems vs. Situations: A Crucial Distinction
A core concept Godin introduced is the distinction between problems and situations. Problems have solutions, even if we don’t like them. Situations, on the other hand, are unchangeable circumstances. Recognizing this difference is key to managing our expectations and actions.
“Problems have solutions. Situations do not,” Godin clarified. For example, you cannot change the laws of physics – that’s a situation. But you can choose to have a difficult conversation with your boss about a salary negotiation; that’s a problem with a solution, even if the solution involves an uncomfortable discussion. Similarly, relationship issues, sticking to a budget, or putting yourself out there are all problems with potential solutions, even if the solutions require effort or discomfort.
The word “but” often signals a situation, while “and” allows for the acknowledgment of multiple truths, including problems. For example, saying “I want to get healthier, but my spouse doesn’t support me” implies the spouse’s lack of support is an insurmountable obstacle. However, saying “I am getting healthier and feeling great, and my spouse doesn’t like it” separates the actions from the reaction, acknowledging both as true and opening the door to address the problem of spousal dissatisfaction constructively.
Defining ‘Hard Work’ in the Modern Era
The nature of “hard work” has evolved. In the past, it might have meant physically demanding labor. Today, Godin argues, hard work often involves intellectual and creative effort: coming up with innovative solutions, communicating truthfully, making difficult decisions, or creating something entirely new. This kind of work, he suggests, is what allows us to feel fully alive.
“When we have a chance to be productive in whatever form that is, whether or not we are getting paid for it, we have a chance to be fully alive,” Godin said. This can range from creative pursuits like pottery or writing to meaningful contributions like raising children or volunteering. The act of doing this “work,” for its own sake, leads to a gratifying life and can, as a side effect, attract respect, independence, resilience, and even opportunities.
The Fear Beneath the Surface
Underlying much of our resistance and inaction are fundamental human motivations: status, affiliation, and fear. Status relates to hierarchy and position, while affiliation is about fitting in. However, Godin emphasizes that fear is the deepest motivator, extending from the primal fear of death to a myriad of anxieties about change, failure, and the unknown.
The current world, Godin notes, is inherently unstable. Waiting for things to return to a past “normal” is futile. The question, then, is whether we will take agency in navigating this change or remain passive. Those around us, even those who care deeply, may project their own fears and anxieties onto us, often rooted in the systems and expectations they’ve been taught.
Embracing the Marathon of Life
Godin uses the marathon analogy to illustrate the nature of sustained effort. Finishing a marathon isn’t about avoiding tiredness; it’s about figuring out where to put the tired. Similarly, pursuing important goals involves embracing the inevitable challenges and discomfort that come with them. “I need to be able to do both,” he stated, referring to the need to undertake the important task and manage the accompanying fatigue or resistance.
The presumption that important things should be easy is a fallacy. Instead, Godin advises approaching significant goals with the understanding that they will be challenging and will require effort. This mindset shift—expecting and preparing for difficulty—is crucial for perseverance.
Taking Action: The Call to ‘Pick Yourself’
Ultimately, the message from Godin and Robbins is a call to action. Stop waiting for the perfect moment or external validation. Acknowledge where you are, identify what truly matters to you, and “pick yourself.” Embrace the resistance as a signpost, distinguish between problems and situations, and commit to the hard, meaningful work that will lead to a more fulfilling and impactful life. The only place to begin is where you are, and the time to start is now.
This article is based on a conversation between Mel Robbins and Seth Godin. It is intended for informational purposes and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for any health concerns or before making any decisions related to your health or treatment.
Source: How to Build a Life That Matters & Get What You Want Starting Today (YouTube)
